Recently, everything went out of the track. I fuck up two of my major subject and stil struggle with another two ( gonna to get the result by next week). The worst feelings ever especially I'm not doing well. Somehow, yesterday mum just told me a tragic news about the lost ( CEOs of brother company) and he was so young and a billionaire. Plane crashed miles away from Breckenridge, Colorado. Inspiration again!!
Life, as short as we all known. Unpredictable , accidents can happens anywhere, anytime without any precursor. Now, I'm afraid. I'm a coward now, I'm afraid since the accident ( January). Although, I'm no longer having night mare of it but still, when I heard anything about death- I'm shivering. Why god take those good people away when they were so young? For now, I knew how much it value for someone life and I'm praying for my parents, brother, grandma, families and friends healthy always and forever. I couldn't hold on to any lost. Being healthy, happy are the only thing I wished forever my birthday wish. I love everyone especially mum, brother and dad, even though sometimes, I tried to be mean and childish.
Complicated feeling ever had. I never thought of financial problem since I was born. I knew I'm a lucky child and I didn't appreciate what I had. I'm regretted. I never thought maybe someday I might need to quit my studying middle in the road. I never thought of someday my parents will get older and I'm overwhelming them with the expenses in the states. When I first heard the news, I was so worried and I barely cry. I'm worried. I don't want to let go of my dream, although mum didn't mention anything about the financial yet I knew its not optimism. I really hope with my current CGpa I can get scholarship. I really need sponsor from the school or company. I don't want to disappoint anyone, and I'm going to work as hard as I could to brush up my foundation and maintain the current gpa.
