Feelings [Part 2]

Everything is back on the track.
Classes began!
Good looking Prof, friendly classmate, enthusiasm housemate, seem like everything going on well and smooth.
Yet, it comes with a complicated feelings that ever had in before.
Is hard to say how i feel for right now.
It's really strange! 
Uhh!!!

Sometimes, i do think of myself.
What have changed me for the entire year?
Why am i working so hard?
Why do i sleep early?
What am i fighting for?
Lots of questions came across.

Sometimes, i felt that this isn't myself
Whatever i'm thinking or working on doesn't seem to be me.
Environments and peoples that came across do not seem to be the same.
But, my arrogant, spirit of winning would always be there.
WHY?

Nevertheless, I miss mum so much.
When i thought of the moment i had in Malaysia and Thailand, my heart hurts.
Although, i didn't talk with dad but my love towards him and mum will always glow from days to days.
I really miss them so much.
I wish i could finish my studies ASAP.

Recently, i thought of finding myself a bf or a friend that allow me to express all my feeling without worries.
But, it seems like "HARD" or 
I need to make the first move ?
I know everything is possible and the decision is on my hand.
Maybe one day, when i am drunk XD