My Feelings

Almost 2.5 months being and living at home.
Soon, I'll be back to states again. 
All kinds of feeling just knock on my door.
Complicated , annoyed , vexed , worried, sad, happy...
Nothing that had been done for this few months.
Whatever i planned just fuck up.
Things and peoples changed.
So do my families.

Last Saturday was grandma birthday and everything was no longer the same
That kind of feeling can't be describable, very complicated.
Families were separate apart, gossips were being surrounded
Truth or untruth is not worthy to be judge.
What i really learned from my lesson was,
I feel, i think, i saw and i make my own conclusion.
To be honest, i can't agreed with what they said nor the way they judge.
And, some of the blamed was counted under mother kindness.
But, how many's know the truth hidden behind the mask ? 

What i really saw was the difference between the peoples between western and Asia!
Women who lived in Asia and without having global interaction will only remained with their old custom.
I'm not telling that mother was the greatest but she really had that ability and knowledge to judge others. 
She knows how the world works.
If she wasn't right, why should I listen to her ? 
After living in states for one year, i met and i learned.
What she said, she taught was the truth. 
Life was never easy as we thought.
Everyone has their own mask.
Whatever hidden behind we never knew.
But, when we take off of it then we only know what's we handling with.
Although it will be in a tough way. 
Some experiences did not apply on everyone and the lesson will not be the same.
Even though, you already worked but the field where you worked will be remain the same. 
It will not be expanded because of the peoples you met. 

The world i saw was difference from my families members. 
I couldn't said that i had met half of the world, but at least i do had some experience that had changed myself.
The way they thought was completely cover by a tiny layer just like the infant with a layer of yolk.
They couldn't expand the thought and think deeper from every aspect. 
When they judge they never think of the every possibility that brought to the problem.
Again, I'm not arrogant of myself but the thought and experiences i met really brought me a precious lesson ever that i ever had in Malaysia. 
So, they mostly concluded that mother was going over the border.
I couldn't judge but promising myself be work harder to change the reality.
Only money could speak
Money is everything and also power. 
Money can bring family to be together and it also can bring family apart.