What I really wanted to say ...

It had been a month i did not update my blogger. It's too much to say about and is too complicated. Last month, was pretty overwhelmed and unlucky month for myself. Not doing well with my courses, lost my new camera and lots of things to worry with. The last day of the month, I figured out that "Friends are just a passerby in our life" Mum always mentioned all over the time, but i just ignored. She was right about "Never rely too much on your friends, no ones' will come to you as they are bordering with their stuff" and now i agreed with, eventually. I asked friends for help on my assignment and none of it reply. How pathetic I am.  At last, I need to fuck up that assignment by burning up the midnight oil and almost had myself insomnia. For the first time, i slept for 4 hours. That's really suck and disappointed. However, I feel that i'm a lucky person because my families are always there for me helping out to figure the assignment. It makes me to feel like FRIENDS are just an air surround around us, IS EVERYWHERE! But is none of them will be willing to help you when it comes to problem. The only one that always stands by side always mum and myself , "ALONE". Really sound so helpless and pessimistic. To me, friends are just people who I can get  along with some party or fun but not a lending hand, not sharing secret. So, I'm done with it. Time to be invisible and low profile. I keep telling myself that never ever expecting or asking help from others. What I really need is letting myself to strong and knowledgeable. I know everyone is "BUSY" life and i really don't get it why they couldn't help instead of posting, commenting, or liking things. Friend is nothing even you have bunch of them, whenever you need help for something and you're alone then those friendships mean "NOTHING". It makes like i'm invisible with my friendships. Now, I understand it.I'm always thinking of what i expected from others that's why it ended up like this. No offense.